The Key is Communication

 There have been many different times during my life that communication proved to be vital. The instances are countless. 

Communication (however crucial) has honestly never been much of a strong point for me. I am someone who often says exactly what I think. This has gotten me into quite a bit of trouble over the years. 

My family loves to remind me of one particular instance where I'd say my communication skills were a little too strong. I was with my mom visiting an elderly lady in my neighborhood. I was around the age of four or five. My mom and I would visit this lady quite often due to her poor health, so she and her husband were very familiar with us.

On this particular day, however, I happened to be playing with this couple's Olympic snow globe (not something you come across every day). While playing with it I lost my grip and dropped it. It completely shattered. 

My mother was mortified but this sweet couple kept telling me it was alright and that I didn't need to feel bad. For some reason, though I must have missed the memo that I should have been feeling some degree of remorse for breaking their snow globe. 

My mom asked me if I thought I should say sorry and I said no. The couple said, "Well you must feel a little bit sorry." and I responded, "Nope, I don't feel sorry at all!". We left very shortly after that thanks to my mom. 

This was an example to me where I did communicate but it was not done in the right way. So the question is what is the right way to communicate? 

So often we either do not communicate at all, or we do not communicate in a way that will resolve conflict without making more conflict. This is a very tricky line to tread. 

Communication is essential for relationships to function at a normal and healthy level. When there is a lack of communication there can be many conflicts that arise but are never addressed which makes it more dangerous to the relationship as the conflicts slowly build up till there is a type of explosion where the communication then begins to flow but in a negative and potentially very hurtful way. I have seen this with some of my own relationships and it makes it difficult to get past. 

It is also important to be delicate when communicating with someone in a way that allows them to have their feelings and emotions respected while you are trying to do the same for yourself. At times when we are communicating, we are not careful enough with our words to express what we feel and we can say things we don't mean or that we later regret. 

The key to communication is being open to express yourself in a way that does not infringe on the other person's ability to express themselves. Trying to understand someone else's point of view can be really helpful when establishing and executing communication. When you have empathy for someone it helps you understand them differently in a way that is more sensitive to them. Acknowledging and understanding the other person allows the perfect chance to help them understand your own point of view and come to a conclusion when communicating. 

Everyone should feel comfortable when wanting to communicate in a relationship. In order to obtain this, we each need to do what we can to let others know we appreciate them and want to hear what they want to say. I have seen my own relationships where one of us was closed off to the idea of clearly communicating with the other. This can make it very challenging to work through any issues going on in a relationship. When this sort of challenge comes up the importance of the relationship needs to be reestablished and understood by both persons. 

I am by no means perfect at communicating, but as I have learned more about communication and its effects I cannot deny its importance. To communicate with one another. Love the other person and think of them. Think of the relationship and what you want it to be, and then tell the other person what you want it to be and work on it from there. It is amazing what a little love and a listening ear and open communication can do for a relationship!