Crisis: The Make It or Break It For Each Family

 When I was in my first year of middle school as a seventh-grader, my dad lost his job. It was midway through the year and I was already trying to figure out a lot of things with being in a new school and having friend groups change. Having my dad lose his job was terrifying. It was something I thought about and worried about a lot. I didn't talk to any of my friends about it (especially since I'd stopped spending time with a lot of my previous friends from elementary school) and I felt very lonely and stressed lots of the time. I noticed my parents started arguing with each other more, which was noticeable since that had hardly ever occurred before. I was very concerned for my family not only financially but also in the sense of whether or not we would all stay a family. I truly thought for a time that divorce was a big possibility for my parents during this time. It was very hard and very stressful. The unemployment lasted for quite a while. It was difficult in many many ways but as the months went on things started to change more in my family dynamics and it was actually for the better. 

Before my dad lost his job I hardly ever saw him. He was always working and his job was very stressful. I didn't have much of a relationship with him and felt at times I didn't know him very well. I had always craved a better relationship with him but didn't know how to improve it. But when he lost his job so many things changed. He suddenly had so much more time for our family. He would take me and my siblings to school or practice for the things we were involved in. He was much more present. We all got to really know my dad and we each got more of a relationship with him than we had previously been able to have. It was a big changing point for my family. He eventually got another job about a year later and so many things had changed by then. It had been a really hard year and I still worried a lot about my family and what would happen to us, but it was a year I wouldn't give back because that's the year I really started my relationship with my dad. 

There are many families that go through crises. It could be a whole range of things. It could be the loss of a job like it was in my family, or it could be the death of a loved one or marital problems, or it could be health problems, etc. Whatever it is each family experiences them in one form or another. The question is then how can a family survive these crises and come out a stronger family? The short answer is it takes work. These kinds of situations create difficult stressors that sometimes drive us away from the ones we love. We can lose sight of the most important things sometimes in these situations. What we can do to make sure we come out stronger as a family is to turn towards one another. It doesn't do anything helpful for us to fight or distance ourselves from our loved ones when we are going through these difficult times. But if we instead reach out more to each other and bond closer than before then you can survive the rocky waves of the storm you are in. I have seen it for myself and it is incredible. I never would take back that difficult experience of my dad losing his job because I never would have found the beautiful relationship I now have with him.